Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Conspiracy Theory #2398b: Toyota in Ruins

Just remember, you heard it here first.

Toyota is in a lot of hot water for their apparent lack of spine regarding a string of failures in their automotive product (brakes, accelerators, software).  The general consensus amongst the media, executive branch appointments, and US congressional (persons of substance?) is that Toyota is deliberately confounding the issues of their product safety at the cost of millions of US taxpayer lives, merely to maintain profit and standing as the largest auto producer in the world.

Here's the conspiracy:
Toyota is doing what any self-promoting business would do, the hysterics are designed and choreographed by the US government as a way of reducing consumer faith in a rock-solid, dependable brand name in order to increase sales and profits of domestic auto producers.  This will save the economy of the US, free markets be damned.

This a great idea for the US gov't because a) the Japanese gov't is in bed with them, so they can get Toyota sales eroded internationally, b) when Toyota stops selling cars or goes out of business, they will be able to claim the US auto bailouts of last year were successful because US auto sales will go up, and c) it distracts the media outlets from reporting on politics for a while (which actually is nice).

What you can do to profit personally from this Bull-caca:  buy a Toyota when they go on clearance after Toyota collapses (just remember to buy an older car, without all the problems), and invest in US automakers so when their stocks go up, you are riding the wave!

Personally, I wouldn't take any of my advice, but you might be more gullible.

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