Crochet Beanie - Engineering Guidelines, for Awesome

Crochet: traditionally an art form practiced by women on long winter days in front of the fire-place (also knitting), is something that every person a) is capable of doing, and b) should learn to do, especially the man-folk.  Here's why:

• You will make an awesome hat
• If you're a single man-folk, women are irresistibly drawn toward men who crochet
• It's awesome for killing time if you're at holidays with the family, stuck somewhere without electronics, or watching tv/movie that you're not that into.

I won't go into the basics of crocheting, because there are MANY internet sites dedicated to teaching you the technique.  Instead, I will offer up some of my awesome patterns and tell you how to make one of your own...

Here's a short list of other websites that will teach you to crochet:

• Lion Brand Yarn - Of course they want you to learn!
• About.com
• Google

Now, on to the good stuff


Crochet Beanie

Start at the top of the beanie and work down.  Start with an initial loop, then each row is numbered as follows:

1. 8 single stitches (sc) into the initial loop
2. double sc into each stitch of row 1 (16 sc total)
3. {double sc, single sc} x8 (24 sc total)
4. {double sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (32 sc total)
5. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (40 sc total)
6. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (48 sc total)
7. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (56 sc total)
8. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (64 sc total)
9. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (72 sc total)
10. {double sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc, single sc} x8 (80 sc total)
11. Now you've expanded all the way out, you'll do 20 rows of 1 sc per stitch in the previous row.    {single sc} x80
12. {single sc} x80
13. ....

   30.  {single sc} x80
And you're done!

That's it for the basic beanie.  If you find it is too large, give it to a friend with a huge melon, then decrease the number of expanding rows (stop after expanding 8-9 times, rather than 10).  If you find it too tight, give it to some pin-head you know, then increase your expanding rows to 11-12.

Some variations on the theme:

Two Color Hat -
Start the first row with one color, start the second row with the second color.  If you work in a spiral (rather than "complete" a row and then bump up, just keep stitching over the transition), go as far as you can with one yarn, then switch and repeat.

Earflaps -
You'll make decreasing triangles each 1/8th the circumference of the hat, with 1/2 the circumference open in the front and 1/4 of the circumference open in the back.  Example:  Say you made the basic beanie above which has 80 stitches at the end.  If you have an ugly seam, that should be centered in the back.  Start the left decreasing triangle 10 stitches from the seam and stop at stitch 20, turn, drop a stitch by your favorite method and go back, turn, drop, go, turn, drop, go.... until you have gotten to the bottom of your triangle.  Repeat on the right hand side.  I like to go once or twice around the whole hat after I've added earflaps with a sc row to tidy up the edges of the earflaps and visually tie them in with the basic beanie.

Poofball -
Take your ball of yarn and wrap 20 times around the thickest part of you hand, starting at your thumb and ending at your thumb.  Get someone to help you pull this wrap off your hand without letting it all go, my favorite way is to have a friend stick their fingers in at the palm side and back of the hand and grab ALL the loops, then they need to hold those loops while you A) tie a string very tightly around the middle of the loop (leave long ends on this string), and B) cut through the loops where your friends fingers are holding them VERY CAREFUL NOT TO CUT YOUR FRIENDS FINGERS.  Viola, use the long strings to tie the poof onto your beanie!  More loops around the hand makes a thicker poof.

 

Also of interest:  Smurf Hats